Being a “Chill Person” isn’t always good for your career

“They aren’t all worked up by shit because they have perspective.”

If you ask anyone who has met me what I’m like, I can almost guarantee you the first word that comes out of his or her mouth will be “chill.”

I always thought it was kind of a backhanded compliment.

“Chill” means laid-back and easy to get along with, which is great, but it’s also associated with a lack of motivation or commitment.

I can talk about sensitive subjects of any nature with grace and respect. I don’t take anything too seriously, and that makes people who works with me are comfortable.

As one said, relationships are leverage.

I always think one of the best-kept secrets about a chill person is they prioritise other people’s happiness over their own. And that’s why I’ve been so easy to get along with.

The person who’s chill is selfless, but that sometimes comes from deep-seated insecurities or personality flaws. And sometimes we want to please everyone because we are seeking for approval. A chill person is just a person who struggles with imbalance.

More often than not at my job, I went through a phase of trying excessively hard to be the most chill. The problem was that I was not chill. My nature of being “chill” creates a tension between me and my co-workers. They made some false assumptions about me. And I had to learn that the hard way and began to ride myself of the stifling expectations that accompany it.

When I work with a co-worker, I always hear someone mentioning how much they like to work with a person who’s “chill.” AKA the person who keeps their mouth shut and doesn’t cause drama. Also great in theory as no one likes unnecessary drama, yet it’s important to note the extent to which it is idealised.

I have already accepted I will never be the chill person. I won’t sit around idly and pretend I didn’t hear when someone offends me. I won’t keep quiet and pretend everything is peachy keen when I don’t agree with something that’s being said.

It’s true that no one likes the person who always causes drama, and going with the flow isn’t always a bad thing. But it’s also important for your own well-being to stand up for yourself and ask for what you want. If you constantly let others make choices for you or refuse to speak out when you don’t agree with something, you’re sacrificing your own happiness.

I totally agree that bosses like to hire people who won’t put up a fight, question their decisions, or critique their actions.

But at the end of the day, yes, I do have opinions and I also have emotions. With my experience, I will not sit by and keep my mouth shut simply for the sake of being called chill. And I believe that it’s better to let your voice be heard and receive a little flak than say nothing and regret it later. So for those of you who are “chill”, please just be you and stand up for yourself.

As with anything in life, you just need to figure out your cadence. What do you really want?

I have become a student of my own life. Now I know what’s happening and it is fine because it is me and it is life. I am thankful for experiencing these moments while learning about myself. I cherish contemplating who I truly am.

Thanks to practicing mindfulness and self-awareness, I got better at disconnecting from my thoughts.

This is why, every day you can dare a bit more to nurture yourself on that specific individual journey.